Tips for Planning a Stress-Less Wedding Day
Oh, shit! You’re getting married and have no idea where to start? You’re not alone!
Unless you’re a wedding industry professional, you’re not supposed to be an expert at planning a wedding day. And let’s be honest, no wedding is ever stress-free. Additionally, if you’re planning your second wedding, that day will look entirely different compared to the first. You should rely on your hired wedding pros to guide you and make your day a freakin’ smash! Here are some tips that I’ve learned through the years that will help you and your guests get the most of your celebration!
ONE // HIRE A COORDINATOR OR PLANNER //
This is number one for a reason! Do it! You won’t regret it! There’s no need to task your sister with laying out favors or your brother with setting out chairs for the ceremony. Your brother is going be two beers in by the time he remembers he hasn’t set them out. Then he’ll be rushing. And then they won’t be straight. And then you’ll just have to fix them yourself. You get it. Not only will a Coordinator take care of all of those details and tasks, but your favorite people WON’T! Coordinators also think about the big picture and will work with you on how you want your day to flow and feel. They’ve seen it all and it’s likely they’ll be five steps ahead of you.
TWO // DON’T FEEL PRESSURED INTO TRADITIONS //
Discuss with your partner what each of you envisions for your wedding day together. Traditionally and stereotypically, the ‘bride’ makes a majority of the decisions. Are you picturing the bumbling partner who doesn’t have an opinion about what hor d’oeuvres are served or the format of your ceremony? I wish that would die. This is BOTH of your weddings. Through my years as a photographer and witnessing over 100’s of weddings, I can’t stress enough how much more magical and truly genuine a wedding is when a couple makes decisions together and doesn’t feel pressured to have a ‘by the book’ wedding. With Covid-19 in our lives, weddings look a lot different these days. So traditions are fully expected to go out the window. Talk about what your first look will look like. Do you even want to do a first dance? Do you want to greet your guests with a glass a champagne and host cocktail hour before the ceremony? Make time together to talk about each of your vision for the day.
THREE // NEVER SAY ‘WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT ON THE DAY-OF’ //
This definitely plays off of the previous bullet point and sounds like a no-brainer but it’s really tempting when a particular element of a wedding comes up to shrug it off or claim ‘That’s not a big deal. We’ll figure it out in the moment.’ No. If there’s a question about how to approach any portion of your wedding, address it! Nothing kills the love vibes like everyone standing around in a circle shrugging their shoulders wondering what to do about where and when to sign the marriage license or who’s giving a toast.
FOUR // FAMILY PORTRAITS //
It’s hilarious how long it takes to herd cats, right? Consider your entire family a herd of cats. With me as your photographer, we’ll create a shot list and I’ll be able to advise you on how long your desired shot list will take to capture and I’ll build that time it into your timeline. Additionally, I often scout the venue if possible to find the best location for them to take place. Tell everyone who’s on that shot list when and where they’ll be happening prior to the wedding day. This is the time to capture snuggle photos you’ll want to frame for decades! Let’s go, kitty meow-meows. Goodness, I’m weird…
FIVE // DO A FIRST LOOK or *DON’T //
You’ll always hear me advocating that a first look is the way to go. It allows you to have quiet time together when you’re freshly done with getting ready and you can get those jitters out. I always make sure your first look is special so it truly replicates that moment your partner might desire of seeing you walk towards them down the aisle. It will be your moment to take a deep breath together and revel in the day! First looks also mean your guests won’t be tossing drinks down and getting schloshed while we do portraits after the ceremony. You can get schloshed with them! ; ) *However, because Covid-19 has forced us to reduce (or eliminate) our guest count, it might be 100% applicable to not do a first look and see each other for the first time once your ceremony starts. Super romantic!
SIX // DO AS MUCH GETTING READY PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE //
We all have our pet peeves, right? I kid you not, one of my biggest pet peeves is having to take tags off of accessories or take paper out of your shoes or mess around with those annoying elastic tags on jewelry when all I’m wanting to do is be creative and take pretty photos. This wastes a silly amount of time that can be spent capturing details and moments that matter. Plus, there will be less clutter to clean up for photos later. If you plan on returning anything (I see you Bridesmaid No.2. I wouldn’t want to keep a dress I can only wear once!), take the tags off the night before, put them all in a Ziploc bag and retag it after. If you don’t already own one of these, buy it now and thank me later. And gentlemen, if you’re wearing a bowtie, watch a damn YouTube video and practice. Like, now, bro. I was once photographing NINE men getting ready and not a single one knew how to tie a bow tie. Guess how late the groom was to his first look? 45 minutes…
SEVEN // WHEN IT COMES TO TIME, LESS IS NOT MORE //
When it comes to weddings and events, everything often takes longer than expected. So there’s no harm in padding your timeline because it will only reduce your stress and sweat. No one likes a stinky couple who’s been stress sweating because there wasn’t enough time built into the day. More importantly, no one likes a SAD couple who wasn’t able to have more time to enjoy with their guests or simply enjoy each and every moment because they were rushing from each stage of the day to the next. More time equals easy time. And easy time is… well, I’m not a philosopher but more time is better!
EIGHT // TAKE A FREAKIN’ BREAK! //
Consider that you’re going to be socially ON all damn day. It’s important to take a break and a breather. Weddings are no joke and even in Covid times, they are just as stressful and if you don’t build in time to give yourselves a break, you’re setting yourself up to literally break. Best times to take a chill pill? Right after family portraits and before the ceremony- a very socially stimulating part of the day! During dinner- couples sometimes set up a ‘Sweetheart Table’ where they can have dinner together and take it all in. Or simply, go for a walk while your guests eat! Maybe bring your photographer and just capture some quiet time portraits. One of my favorite moments captured was when Chris and Jenn had dinner alone in a private room while their guests ate in the main reception hall. It was so sweet. Check out their blog post to peep that cute moment. I might just steal that idea when the time comes for Darren and I! ; )
NINE // DON’T LET THE WEATHER RUIN YOUR VIBE //
Some of the most memorable weddings I’ve photographed had the most awful weather. Each couple who had to endure a monsoon on their wedding day embraced it and we still managed to create some incredible images. If you let the weather drive your vibe, you’re certain to crash. Keep your heart open and all will be well. I keep a stash of clear umbrellas on hand and you can always find excellent ones for a really affordable price on Amazon. You might have to give your family a pep talk if the weather isn’t being kind and do some extra logistical planning with your photographer and planner.
TEN // DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO //
This last one is 100% easier said than done (and pretty dang close to Number 3). Weddings are more than just about the ceremonious event of getting married. They are also about celebrating your families and coming together. Therefore, everyone will want a say and to feel like their opinions are important. They are. But, also…they aren’t. Your wedding should be as true to yourselves as possible and the ultimate key to it being your best day ever, is to stay true to what you want to do. It’ll be hard and you might have to have tough conversations with your family and guests. It will all be worth it, my friends!
Have questions about all things wedding related? Send me a note! Write me at amy@amykielphotography.com.
-Always Love, Amy.